Tuesday, June 05, 2007


------------- a little story i wrote in 1999, it is unfinished ... --------------

“Julie, my love. It’s time. I’m going to see Gram soon. I’ve missed her so much.” Grandpapa held me for the very last time. He looked so peaceful and ready, I cried. “Don’t cry, little gypsy. We will be with you always.”

He left. I was glad there was no pain.

I was an orphan. Gram and Grandpapa found me near the tree in the barn. I was left behind, an unwanted child. But I was no where near being dysfunctional, the love I have received from Gram and Grandpapa were in abundance, I have so much more to share with anyone who need them.

Gram left us 5 years ago when I was only 15. She has been quite ill for as long as I remember. 15 years, she suffered the pain of her illness, but she never allowed us to see her in pain, she suffered them in silence, until the day she could no longer withhold, she left. Life was tough without Gram, she was the sunshine, the laughter, everything. Grandpapa was in deep sorrow, without Gram, he lost his will to live, too. It was unbearable to look at him in that state. He aged so much more overnight it broke my heart.

Then one day, suddenly he came to live again! He was Grandpapa again; I have missed him so much. We could finally talk and laugh together, just like old time.

“Julie! Julie! Your Grandpapa! Go! To the hospital! Now!”

I lost Grandpapa that day.

I left too, the week after. I have chosen to lick my wound somewhere else.

Hopped onto the bus and left, no idea where it will bring me.

The bus finally stopped at quiet little town by the sea. Ah, the sea. So beautiful and peaceful, the air was different.

I found a job in the deli and another in a big house. The owner was away most of the time, so I was to be a house sitter. Fine by me, as long as there was a roof over my head.

The house was huge. I wondered who lived there. Once a week, someone came to clean the house, so I didn’t have to clean the house. I stayed in the guestroom on the ground floor.

When I was not working in the deli, I was in the library in the house. There were more books that I have seen in the bookshop. Sometimes, I fell asleep in the couch reading.


I was woken by a noise in the house. Oh no, I hope it was not the burglar, what am I to do. I grabbed the first thing my hands grabbed, a golf club. Slowly and quietly, I inched my way to the door. Please God, let there just be my imagination.

Before I could open the door, it swinged open and knocked me down on my nose. And I saw black.

“Oh dear, I am so sorry. Are you alright? Who are you? What are you doing in my house?”

Too many questions. Oh, my head. It hurt. “My house”? I opened my eyes and stared into the most beautiful shade of blue.

“Are you alright? I hope you are not having a concussion or something.”

“I am sorry, you must be Mr. Tavis. I am Julie, your house-sitter. Sorry again for intruding your library.”

“No, no. That’s fine. It’s always a pleasure to share this treasure from my father. His quest for knowledge was boundless. He would be happy to see that his library was not rendered useless.”

“Mr. Tavis, welcome home, it is a pleasure to work for you. Now that you are home, I believe my service is no longer necessary. I will go …”

“Julie, do you like this house?”

“Me? Of course. Who wouldn’t. I could practically live in this library.”

“Then, stay on. I could invent an employment for you. You don’t have to leave.”

“But ..”

“I insist. It’s nice to have some company.”

He left the room with the brightest and most beautiful smile I have ever seen.

But I can’t stay here infinitely; Mrs. Tavis will not be too happy to find a female house-sitter within the premise. I have to make plan to leave though the invitation was so tempting.

“Good morning.”

I jumped.

“Good morning, Mr. Tavis.”
My daily encounter with Mr. Tavis was just that.

Until one night, I heard him stumped into the house. He must be drunk.

I went to him, but he seemed to be in pain.

“Mr. Tavis! Mr. Tavis! Oh my gosh! Are you ok?”

“M ..y, in .. my ..”

Clumsily, I fumbled into his case.

“Oh.. where is it? Where is it?”

Found it. I helped him to his medication and lay him on the sofa.

The pills took effect in few minutes. His frown smoothened.

“Thank you, Julie.”

“Let me help you to your room, you should be resting. You should take a day off tomorrow to do exactly that too.”

He fell into a deep sleep almost immediately after he lay on his bed.

I stayed by him for the night.

I woke up from the couch and saw him sitting in front of me looking at me, like I was a specimen or something, it was nerve-wrecking. He looked well now.

“Thank you Julie.”

“I, ah, I should go and make some breakfast.”

I practically ran out of the room.

In the kitchen, I focused on making the breakfast, but I was acutely aware of his presence in the house.


I jumped.

“Thank you again.”

“You look so much better now.”
“Yes. Since I will be taking your suggestion to rest today, would you like to be my companion for the day?”


“We could go for a drive, have a picnic, watch a movie, things like that?”

“But, you should be resting.”

“Not working is resting for me. I am too restless to sit around at home. Come on, let’s go for a walk by the sea.”

He grabbed my hand and we left the house. We walked to the beach, enjoying the warm breeze, still holding my hand.

“It has been a while since I have been this relax.”

I smiled, not knowing what to say. He smiled. We walked in silence for a long time.

“Thank you, Julie. I have a great time.”

“Thank you. Me, too.”

We didn’t go for a drive, or watch a movie after that. He received a call left immediately after that. He didn’t come back for a few days.

I love the garden, it was beautiful, and I tried my best to help the gardener maintain its beauty.

I was pruning the plants when I sensed someone’s gaze intensely at me.

I turned around and saw Mr. Tavis. He stood there, looking so much like a Greek God and smiling at me.

“Hi Julie.”

“Hello, Mr Tavis. Your heart is fine today?”

He walked towards me, removed my gardening groves, held my hand, and led me to the beach. Not saying a single word.

“I’ve missed you.”

I stopped.
He held both my hands and smiled.
Gently, he leaned forward to kiss me on my lips. His feather-like kiss that did me in. It sent me to my knees. I was never been kissed.


He caught me and held me, oh so protectively. I felt safe in his arms.

“Shhh…. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you so. No. Never my intention.”

We sat on the beach; he continued to cradle me to him, like he was not ever going to let me go.

“Mr. Tavis, I, ..”

“Julie, my love, call me Josh.”

My love? This was too much.

“Mr. Tavis, uh, Josh. I don’t know how? But I don’t deserve this. I should make my leave, ah, Mrs. Tavis would not approve of this.”

“My mother? Why would my mother not approve of you?”

“Your mother? No, no, I mean, uh, Mrs. Josh Tavis.”

“MaryAnn, she would love you. She would have picked you up for me. Maybe she has.”

“I don’t understand.”

“She has gone to the heaven 5 years ago. She must have sent you to me.”

Silence tears.

“Mr. Tavis, …”


“Josh, I am delighted for your attention but, but I am not MaryAnn. I wouldn’t know how to be her. I, uh, ”

He silenced me with a kiss. No, no, he was trying to shut down my mind, I can’t but it was so enchanting.
“Julie, I have never said you have to be MaryAnn. No one can be like her. No way. She is as noisy as you are quiet. Julie, just be you, you don’t have to be anyone else for anyone, not even for me, ok?”

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