Part of the "Action"

They want to be part of your work, too, you know. LOL

Whenever I am doing my work at home, they would be lazing on the desk, just so that they could be near me, so sweet :)

Peanut would sleep on my arm while I am programming.

Peanut and Muffin

Peanut is the brother, and Muffin is the sister.

Peanut is gutsy and very curious, he has been exploring the house, the moment I lifted the lid of the basket.  Muffin, on the other hand, is slightly smaller and very shy, but she would follow wherever her brother goes.

They are my babies :)

It warms my heart, waking up to see the little fellows, sleeping so soundly on the pillow next to me.

Peanut and Muffin playing ...

My Kittens :)

Adopted 2 kittens on 15 Oct :)

The Wait

Once again, he told me he loves me.  No reply…… from my end yet again, just a smile.  He is waiting, I know he is waiting.  I know not when I will be ready, not now, not when my heart is still full of someone else who has left me without a word.  I know I should be furious but I was not, I was too disappointed in myself to feel anything else.  I guess I have numbed.  The only time I felt anything was the many attempts I have tried to let him go but the harder I tried, the more I couldn’t……breaking down and missing him all over again.  Why is it so hard………………………………..

He is still waiting, patiently waiting for me to one day open the door in my heart I have slammed shut.

......

I have no idea why but it has ended the very moment I spoke to someone about it. And I knew the exact moment it has ended....... I have no idea how to feel about it, to be enraged? to cry? to feel resign? ...... Am I cursed? or what? I dont understand .... why?

I am baptised!!

My God-ma Debbie, we both are Benardette!!

My 2 beautiful black cats for 2 weeks!!

Minako is away for holidays starting from last night. Her 2 babies will be in good hands :) cos' they are with me!! Choco and Lito are 2 beautiful black cats that are so so adorable, and taking care of them is definitely not a chore for me but a delightful task, a very delightful one in fact. I have to move in to take of them and her plants, and she has so many!!!

我可以

我可以堅持下去
我不能敗下去
我相信他
不知道爲什麽
只知道我可以相信他
我知道我很傻
但我真的好愛他

Angel Circle

It is good to feel the energy again :) Haven't been to any Angel Circle Meeting for a while. This time I brought Natalie to the circle, and she likes it :)
The initial meditation was good, a nice long meditation, very peaceful :)
After the meditation, Emily talked to us about crystals. Very interesting but so much to learn, cos now i can't remember most of the names. I have bought 2 crystal books, and that is one of the tasks I have to learn.
There are many angel statues and figurines in the house! And I want that in my own house!! I will do up my angel corner but first I must get my HOUSE!!!

Angel Reading

Met up with Audrey last night. She told me my guardian angel is Julia, Angel of Faithfulness. I was shocked, cos' that name came to me in my writing, and I don't know why :) She has a golden pinkish glow. She is always with me, on my right side! And I always feel a very angelic presence on my right!!!
There is a Shaman seated behind me, not far from me, waiting for me to be ready, the awakening of my healing ability. He is my master in one or more of my past lives, and now he is my spirit guide. Audrey said my energy is always of a young girl, of native American heritage. Always running in the open field, happy and free in the nature. Many of my past lives I was that. And I seem to be running away, running away from something, she said could be responsibilities. I want to be free so I ran. That is the karmic balance I have to resolve in this life. I almost did it again. I was so tempted so many times to drop everything here and run away to a foreign land, and never come back.
I was also a White Witch, a healer that uses natural remedies - crystals, herbs, energies. Audrey said I have to regain my power as a healer again, my master is waiting for my awakening so that he could guide me. I am sensitive to energy, do not let that to waste, that is my life purpose, it has always been my life purpose. Just as I have close connection with the dolphins, for they are natural healer like me.
And it is in my aura that I have the green healing light.
Kuan Yin and Mother Mary are too, my guides. Me being compassionate and loving is the result of their compassion and loving energy, very strongly resonating behind me.
Audrey said my heart is very heavy with worries, she can see I am trying very hard to open my heart to love, but too much worries.

He called me his wife :)

My low husky sickly voice is sexy?? Hmm... well ok, hhahahaha better than unbearable! And he called me his wife!!! I was, of course, inquiring about his car, which usually, is a man's wife. But no, not his wife but daughter!! Huh? Hahaha this is the first time. Then he said he was talking to his wife >> me? I lost my words. Wow wow wow I was overwhelmed and very touched that he thought me as his wife. I wish I am, I wish and it's just a wish.

Maybe I am mental

Twice, I was told I am not mentally stable, from two different persons. Am I? Are there more people think I am but are too polite to tell me? Has the betrayal traumatised me that badly? I know physically I was badly trashed but am picking up slowly. But mentally? Now I am afraid, what if I really have? What will happen? But I am happier now, so I should be fine, right?

Love Actually

Just watched "Love Actually" again on DVD.
Was a lovely lovely show, I love it! It is one of those feel good kinda shows.
However, there is a bang of loneliness after I feel good for the characters in the show.
In the fictional world, well in this case, the endings are all good, well except for that poor little guy who fell in love with his best friend's wife. That is the worst agony! He was there to plan for the wedding and what not but silently standing at the side, gazing at the girl he loved and that is all he could do for the rest of his life, just stand aside and watched her silently. I feel for him, I can understand the sense of lost in his life.

Love found, Love met, Love rekindled, Love lost ..... all around christmas .....

It is June now, Christmas is 6 months away and I think I have to start planning to hide away somewhere. It is going to be difficult, I know, I tried that last year without success. Everywhere will be filled with jolly people in the mood of partying. Sigh...... Sometimes I wish I could just hide in some isolated place with no one around, facing the sea, listening to the wind. Where is this place? Hopefully by then, I have my own flat, and I could hide in my very own oasis. Shutting my world from the rest of the world. I rather be lonely on my own than to feel lonely when I am with friends. Hate the sympathetic look from people around you.

The airport scenes in the show was so warm, seeing love in the faces of people at the airport. It was so nice. For the past 2 years, at the "height" of my business travelling, there was no one to send me off nor anyone to receive me when I come home. Just me and only me. Kinda pathetic, don't you think? No one to call, no one to "report" to. Just flag a cab and go home on my own, back to my dark, empty room. Independence is a lonely thing and I have chosen that. All the happy endings, where's mine? When will I have a relationship beyond my mobile and email? I am so glad at least for these few months that there will not be any public holidays. Weekends are hard enough to go by, now I have intentionally pick up freelance work till September, so weekends will be more bearable for a while. I have also signed up to be a docent at the zoo, if everything goes well during my interview, I will be starting my 10-week course on becoming a docent. Now, that is going to be a highlight for me. I am just so terribly horrified of holiday seasons, so end of the year is going to be super tough. I need strength to go through them.

He said I am the one ....

I wish and I hope I am really that right girl for him :)
But if I am, why can't I dissolve the fear in him?
Jacky said (or rather sang) "愛一個人不容易", it is so true.
Last night, Father said when a woman loves, she loves with all her heart, everything.
I couldn't agree more to that.
Last night's class was about the marriage sacrament. I almost wanted to walk out of the class. Thinking to myself, I should have gone home and rest instead. This is one sacrament I do not intend to take anyway. I remember the vow I have made, even though I do not love him but I had intended to honour my vows but .... no no, I didn't fail. I kept my words and did my duties, he failed me but hey it is ok. I don't mind it ended the way it had. At least, I have a second chance :) I am free again. Afterall, I did have a wish, and I wish he would commit adultery so that I could get out of this wedlock. And my wish is granted. So, I have no complaint :) Even though I am alone and will be alone but it is ok, at least I am happy to be me again. At least, I have a chance to find my Dear :)

He called ....

So happy to receive his call this morning :) Haven't heard from him for 2 days, I have missed him so much. At least he called ...............

Beautiful Words To Live By

Chanced upon these beautiful words ........

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back.

Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

Find the one that makes your heart smile.
There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person too.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Stupid Flu Jab!!

Seriously! What is the flu jab for? Shouldn't it be a protection against flu?? Why am I having flu again!!!!!
Before the flu jab, my resistance was so strong!! And NOW? This is the 2nd flu attack I have after the stupid jab!!!
The only good thing about taking the jab was that the doctor who administered my jab, was cute. But I think he is a gay, so the good thing became bad hahahahhahaaha :P

Oh no... I could feel the heat flushes, I hope is not the stupid fever again!! Will have to sweat it out later in the gym and please please don't let me faint, it will be sooooooooo embarrassing. Archangel Michael, please please protect me on the road!

I saw rainbow again!!

This morning, I woke up feeling a little down, maybe cos I realised I am going to lose my voice soon, I am having throat inflammation again. I have tried to smile this morning, and was not very successful. But upon seeing the rainbow as I drove out of BKE overcasting Hillview!! I smile!! A very huge smile!!

This is the 4th rainbow I have seen this year!
I saw 2 rainbows on Jan 1st, one top of another.
Saw another while driving to Yew Siang's place somewhere in Feb.
And today!!
I tried to take a quick snap of it but I was driving!!
But it will imprint onto my brain, just like the others I saw.

On the day before I moved out of Pasir Ris (Michael and JG's wedding), I saw the rainbow. That very moment, I know that I will be blessed and Heaven will be there for me.

Thank you Heavens. I have asked for a clear sign and indeed I am given. Thank you!
Thank you for giving me the strength and patience as I wait for him.

To my very surprise, you give me another beautiful sign. Jill sent me "Be Thou my Vision". I am listening to it now. Thank you!

Be Thou my Vision
Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Speedy Recovery

Nick's mom just had an operation. He is on the way there now to visit her. I wish I could be there to give her my well wishes, but I can't. However, I would still like to wish her a speedy recovery from wherever I am. Sorry Auntie, I can't be there. Please accept the healing energy from Archangel Raphael. Thank you Raphael for sending my love to her.